Only Raindrops
by jarrodsgirl
Summary: Dick has just left Cassidy's funeral and isn't feeling quite like his usual self. He tries to pretend everything is just as it used to be but in the end finds something he wasn't expecting.


_ So, apparently I'm the only person who misunderstood the Season 2 Finale and thought that Beaver raped Mac. I assumed this from the tearstained face of Mac and the "He took everything" line…(I mean, I really thought she meant EVERYTHING)…so oh well, I guess I was wrong, but for the sake of my little story here, please pretend with me that Beaver raped Mac at the end of Season 2. Also, I wrote this long before Season 3 arrived so anything the characters may have said or done in Season 3 has nothing to do with this little piece of fiction. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it! _

* * *

The raindrops were his only company. If Beaver had died a week ago under different circumstances, this place would have been packed, but when your brother kills a busload of high school students, lies about it, rapes a girl and then jumps off a building, people tend to steer clear of his funeral.

The minister said a prayer and the casket began to lower into the six foot deep hole. And now teardrops joined the raindrops that splashed on his face. Dick Casablancas would never say it out loud, but for the first time in his life, he was lonely. As the gravediggers started shoveling dirt into the hole Dick turned and headed for his car. He yanked the tie from around his neck and quickly wiped his hand across his cheek and then slipped on sunglasses to hide the tear stains. He might be torn up inside about his brother's death, but no one was going to find out. Not that anyone cared.

Dick drove his car toward the gate that led out of the cemetery grounds and was bombarded with camera flashes and people banging on the car windows with microphones in their hands. He could hear their questions, although muffled from the car windows. _"Why do you think your brother blew up the bus?", "Dick, do you know where your father is?", "Is it true your brother had an affair with your step-mother?", "Did your brother ever threaten to kill you?" _

The questions got more and more ridiculous the farther he drove. He couldn't take anymore. Dick slammed on the breaks and rolled down the window enough to stick his arm out and shouted "Pirates Rule!". He had managed to sound like his old self, crazy, goofy, foolish Dick. That's how everyone saw him. Dick preferred it that way. It was less work for him. He'd rather not think if he didn't have to. Although, sometimes he couldn't help it and today was one of those times.

What if he'd told someone when Cassidy first let on that Woody Goodman was molesting him. Dick was the only person he had confided in, but Cassidy made him swear he would keep his mouth shut. Back then, the brothers had more in common, before Dick realized that ragging on Beaver made people think he was funny. So, Dick hadn't said a word to anyone. He'd worried about his brother once in awhile when he noticed Beaver didn't seem interested in girls or sex, but worrying made Dick think, made him remember that he could have helped Cassidy tell the truth and send Woody Goodman to jail.

Dick pulled into his garage and shut off the car. What was going to happen now? He'd just graduated from high school. He had no idea where his father was. The only person living with him was his evil, wickedly hot, stepmother.

Richard Casablancas Sr. had made plans for Dick to attend college, but why should he? He had a huge house and he was a party animal! He didn't need school anymore. It wasn't like he was going to run out of money.

This thought made him brighten up a little. He headed into the house and decided the best way to forget about everything that had just happened was to have a wild party with girls and booze.

Dick grabbed his cell phone and dialed his best friend Logan Echolls. "_You've reached Logan; No one can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt." _

"Dude, you gotta get over here! I'm throwing a killer party and man; a party's not a party without you Logan Echolls!" Dick said this last part with mocked admiration. He hung up the phone and sat down on the couch. He had a list of other people to call, but he really hoped Logan would show. Logan was pretty much the only real friend Dick had. _"Geez Dick,"_ he told himself,_ "it's not like you have slumber parties and eat popcorn and talk about girls. Get a grip!"_

Three hours later the house was full of people, beer and loud music. Dick wandered around pretending to have a good time. He watched the debauchery in a new light. For one thing if anyone had a clue that he knew what the word debauchery meant, it would all be over. The only reason these people were here was to get drunk and/or laid. Dick was footing the bill and that's why he had friends tonight. Logan hadn't showed up yet. He was probably out with Veronica. Girls always ruined everything.

He wanted to believe that was true, but at that moment he wished he had someone he was meant to be with like Logan and Veronica. _"Casablancas, enough with the mushy stuff, ok…"_. He grabbed a beer as he walked through the kitchen and headed for his bedroom upstairs. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried Logan again.

This time Logan picked up. "Dick, I'm almost to your house man. I can hear your party all the way down the street." Logan laughed and then paused. "Are you sure you're up for this man?"

"Dude, I am always up for a party! Now get over here, before all the good wine and women are taken!" He hung up before Logan could ask anymore questions.

He headed back down the hall. As he walked past Beaver's old room he heard unmistakable noises. He burst through the door and lunged for the bed, yanking whoever it was off of whoever they were on and threw them on the floor.

"What do you think you're doing in here?" he screamed uncontrollably. "Get out of here you pervert! Both of you!"

"Dick, what the heck? What's wrong with you?" the unknown "friend" stammered.

"Get out of my house!" Dick went flying after him again, but was stopped by Logan who had just come into the room.

"What's going on? What are you guys doing in here?" Logan asked abruptly, realizing where they were. "Just get out alright!" he said forcefully. He let go of Dick and closed the door after the others left.

"Alright, man, I think it's time we had a heart to heart." Logan said, somewhat apprehensively.

Dick turned to look at him and plastered a classic "Dick's dumb" smile on his face "My brother is a murderer, a rapist and a suicide committer. I don't need to talk about it, because I've got beer and plenty of women downstairs who want a piece of this!" he said as he pointed at himself. He was pretending to be drunk. He hoped it was working. "Speaking of gettin' some action, where is your hot mama tonight?"

Logan looked resigned "I just dropped her off at the airport. She's going to New York with her dad. It was a graduation present."

Dick turned to the window so Logan wouldn't see the disappointment in his eyes. The Mar's family had a quarter of the money the Casablancas' had, but all he got for graduation was a dead brother, a missing father and a guilty conscience. He turned around and faked a stagger. His untouched beer sloshed over the top of the bottle.

"Logan, I don't need your help" he stated matter-of-factly. "You know, you've turned into a goody-goody, self-righteous jerk, you know that?" Dick decided that if he couldn't be happy, then nobody should.

Logan stood up and headed for the door. "Call me again, when you're over it Dick." He said and walked out.

After he was sure Logan had left, Dick headed for the back stairs and out to the pool house. It was locked so he knew no one would be in there. He set his beer down on the sidewalk and lifted up the welcome mat, but there was no key. He tried the knob and the door swung open.

Cindy MacKenzie was sitting on the bed in the middle of the room in the dark. The girl her brother had raped was here in the pool house on the day of his funeral. He couldn't believe it.

"Mac, what are you doing here?" He asked cautiously, "How did you get in?"

"Cassidy showed me where the key was, last time I was here." She looked at Dick. He figured she'd been crying and wondered if he wanted to step into this mess, but he felt compelled to join her.

He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed a few feet away from her. Neither of them said anything for awhile. Finally Dick asked quietly. "Why are you here?"

"I'm not sure." She answered timidly. "I guess…I guess I just wanted to go someplace where I could remember Cassidy the way I knew him."

Dick could feel anger rising up in him and he didn't know where it was coming from. How could she want to think about Beaver after what he'd done to her? He stood up quickly and began pacing the floor. "He raped you Mac!" He regretted saying it as soon as the words left his mouth.

Mac looked up at him and in the moonlight he saw one tear roll down her cheek. "I don't know that guy, Dick. That wasn't Cassidy."

Dick sat back down and it was quiet again. This time she broke the silence. "You know what I started thinking? What if I'm the one who tipped him over the edge, past his limits? I pushed him to have sex, I convinced him to get the hotel room that night." Dick looked her in the eyes. Tears were now streaming down her face but she wasn't hysterical. Dick didn't think he could handle that.

"It's not your fault Mac. He had no right to do that to you."

Mac actually smiled a little as she wiped the tears from her cheeks with her fingertips. "What's with all the sensitivity Dick?"

"I guess life just has a way of slapping you in the face sometimes. Showing you who you are…and showing you who you should be…" he trailed off.

Mac got off the bed and grabbed a Kleenex from the box on the nightstand. When she sat back down her shoulder brushed against his. He looked at the side of her face. She was pretty in a computer geek kind of way. She was funny and smart, too smart for him probably. More than that, they had something in common. They had both known and loved the REAL Cassidy Casablancas. The guy that everyone else forgot existed the minute his dark secrets hit the news. They weren't excusing his behavior, just choosing to remember the good instead of forever darkening their minds with the bad.

Dick slipped his arm behind Mac and she cautiously laid her cheek against his shoulder. "Aren't you supposed to hate someone who hurts you so bad?" she asked

"I think so" Dick answered sadly.

She paused and then said "I don't hate him…I just hate what he did."

Dick said thoughtfully, "It's hard to hate someone you love. It's hard to hate someone who's dead." A tear rolled down his cheek, but he didn't bother to wipe it away.

It started to rain outside and he watched as it rolled down the windowpane. He smiled to himself and wrapped his arm a little tighter around the girl next to him. This time the raindrops weren't his only company and he couldn't help hoping that he'd found someone to keep him from being lonely.


End file.
